Always Kimberly

That time when you meet someone new, but you are still holding that grudge, or whatever it may be over your ex love. You want to be with that new person, you want to love them, you want them to love you back. I feel like i’ll never feel the same way, or have the same kind of feelings for someone else now, because I still love that last one. I want to be with that new person, and think about THEM, and not anyone else. I don’t want to randomly start shedding tears. I know it takes time for the heart to heal, but I feel like it is going to take twice as long for me. I have those days where I’m happy thinking about that new person in my life, but then I have the days where I shed my tears, and all i think about is my first love. I’m ready for a new relationship, but then again i’m not. Life isn’t easy, nor is it fair. This is REAL LIFE, and it’s what I have to deal with. I need to understand, that it really is over between me, and my first love, but I don’t want to believe it. At all. Love hurts, but it’s also the one thing that keeps me happy. 

“In Real Life”

In real life I’m waking up alone
It’s one more night you didn’t make it home
And one more time you won’t pick up the phone
In real life you never bring me flowers
When you’re here it’s only for an hour
I’m getting used to being on my own

Because in real life you’re not what I thought
Real life, this isn’t what I want
Guess things aren’t always what they seem

But in my dreams, I’m waking up to roses
Champagne, kisses and I know it’s always, always
Gonna be, gonna be this way
In my dreams, you’re standing right beside me
Two hearts finally colliding
Then I wake up and realise, realise this is real life
Real life, this is real life
Real life, real life
Real life, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh
Real life

In real life it doesn’t always work out
People fall in love and then they fall out
Hearts can break and never make a sound

Because in real life you’re not what I thought
Real life, this isn’t what I want
Guess things aren’t always what they seem

But in my dreams, I’m waking up to roses
Champagne, kisses and I know it’s always, always
Gonna be, gonna be this way
In my dreams, you’re standing right beside me
Two hearts finally colliding
Then I wake up and realise, realise this is real life

Just when I thought this was all real life could be
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Somebody came along and made my dream reality

And now in real life, waking up to roses
Champagne, kisses and I know it’s always, always
Gonna be, gonna be this way
In my dreams, he’s standing right beside me
Two hearts finally colliding
When I wake up, I realize, realize this is real life 

- Demi Lovato

A year ago today, a friend of mine and many others, Devin Topps lost his life. He was such an inspiration to me, and to everyone else. He had a dream, and he was never going to give up. He told everyone, “NEVER GIVE UP” follow your dreams. Such a smart, funny guy, who had huge dreams and goals ahead of him, and now they are lost. But what I do know, is that he is living his dream now. Playing football. Topps had a big heart. He was such a sweetheart to everyone. Last year, on this day when I found out Devin had been shot, I never looked at life the same again. The world is cruel. He did not deserve this at all. I hope everyone learned something from this tragedy. Please, everyone, I don’t care where you are, what you are doing, but please just be safe with whatever you do, whether you are at a party, or just walking around at the mall, because now, anything can happen. Tell your family members that you love them everyday, tell your friends. You never know when something may end. I love you D-Topps <3 Rest in peace.

YOU inspire ME,

you are STRONG,

you can make a DIFFERENCE,

you are special.

Hang in there, you can beat this <3

Oh LIFE.

“We all have Hitler in us, but we also have love and peace. So why not give peace a chance for once?”

-John Lennon

Well, as far as my love life is going, it hasn’t moved since my break-up. I mean, I do think about my ex all the time, and don’t even want a relationship with anyone else yet, but another part of me is saying if you find someone, just go for it. Maybe it’s what’s best for me, and for him, but how would I know, i’m not in his shoes. For some reason I feel like i’m not going meet anyone new, and all i’m going to have are my old high school buddies. But hey, no one knows. I need to get my ass out of my house and start meeting new people. Who knows what could happen, right? I guess i’m just that hopeless romantic girl, who wants that amazing guy to walk up to her and say just the right thing to make her happy. I always see those in movies/T.V shows, now I just want it to happen to me in reality. 

Story of my life as of now.

Why do I miss you more than I ever have, and love you more than I did before?

I’m stuck on you.